Learning about Love

 

Hi! I think my last couple of posts may have been a bit negative.

Two weeks in, I'm still using eharmony and Match.com. I was steered first to eharmony and then to Match.com by my younger friends and relatives. When I asked them which they met their significant other, they replied Tinder and Bumble. Hah! They want me to get introduced to the world of dating slowly. Very protective and sweet of them, I think. Match.com is one of the most popular sites.

In further research, I discovered that meeting someone online is somewhat better during the pandemic than meeting someone in shared activities or via friend introduction.

Whatever app one chooses has the possibility of a good relationship. 

I had thought Tinder was strictly for hookups/one-night-stands, but people find meaningful relationships there. However, I did get the warning that it can be something of a "S**t-show" there.

I've learned a few things while dipping my toes into the dating sea. I'm sure I'll learn more and refine these points as I go along.

First, if someone does not use their actual first name, they are likely too self-absorbed for a relationship. You may think it's caution on their part, but I've not found that so.

Second, if something doesn't feel right, it isn't. I spoke about "T" from New Jersey before. I never heard back after telling him I wanted a video call but did not close the conversation window on the app. A week later, while scrolling, I found his image blurred on the message board; the site had blocked him because he violated rules.

I'm learning about myself, too. I like flirting; I like funny people. It's not surprising; the best relationships and all my husbands were highly witty.

I knew I did not want to be a nurse or a purse. However, I'm finding it is what many men seek from a woman my age. 

I appreciate younger men who have ingrained lessons from the "me too" movement. They ask permission, even about the words they use like, "sexy",and are respectful, though they are likelier to want photos of one in yoga pants or a swimsuit, LOL!

I'd love to hear stories about your online dating experiences in the comments!

 

Sex, Lies and No Video Tapes

Photo was taken tonight as I write this blog entry.

Hair is a mess but proving my point my image is honest.

 

OK, the title says lies, and it says sex, and while there are plenty of lies, there is no sex ... well, not yet.

There may be none ever, as this online dating is very discouraging. I have not been at it very long, but there seem to be a lot of lies.

 

"T" from New Jersey might be a "bot." Very brief communications on messages and refuses to give his name or have a video conversation. (My video tape reference.) I told him, "I'm not really happy with doing the conversational heavy lifting and I need more identification before I go further in any communication."

I wondered if anyone would question my age. I told a guy I was really 72, and he disappeared. The photos are accurate (I look much younger than my stated age), and so is the information. Unfortunately, the guys I have been "matched" to are not as truthful as I am. In my last post, you read about Kenneth from Utah, who used internet photos to pose as a fellow named Mark from San Francisco.

I'm debating contacting a guy who is out of my age range. He's 5 years older than I am. I hate to be picky, but my limit is a couple of years older. It's just that guys seem to age faster than most women. Men much younger have checked me out, but no contact. I honestly do not know how I'd react to someone younger than 57.

The continuing saga of finding dates

 

Not going well! I got contacted by the amiable Mr. T on the East Coast. However, I'm not sure he is an actual person. The messages are incredibly brief. If he is for real, he ought to be available for a video visit and give me his full name. I think I'll drop the contact if I do not get more information. I don't need imaginary friends, LOL!

The matches on the site are not great. I was advised by e-harmony to check out a guy today that its algorithm thought would be compatible with me. Unfortunately, way off the mark! The profile-listed movie faves were Sound of Music, You've Got Mail, Ghost, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, and The Shack. Way too many "chick flicks" for me! And I think he was "too old" and moody for me, too!

At least he had a name and enough info to know he was real. He might be perfect for a sensitive 75-year-old woman, just not ideal for me. I have a much younger outlook on life.

I am tempted to try a different dating site. However, I promised myself I'd give this a couple of months; I just wanted to meet some interesting people. I'm not looking to fall in love immediately.

I was hoping for men with equivalent education and career history to mine. A guy who takes care of their teeth would be nice. A good match would be a kind, comfortable person who likes to travel and is funny and someone who'd tolerate my impatience and sometimes blunt speech. Also, he should be someone my kids would not find boring!